gradual realisation

'The trouble with Facebook is that it takes up so much time (I blame Mrs Claus) and you give out all your news on an immediate basis with no time for considered comment at a later date by blog. At least that's my excuse for almost three weeks since I last updated the world. Actually, life after Costa del Gatwick wasn't at all bad and we had much better weather than they did in the Algarve, lots of sunshine and no rain. Mrs Claus does like her sunshine, which living close to the North Pole we get quite a lot of for 6 months a year but don't do too well for the other six. She says she suffers from SAD which sometimes I quite agree with. It does stand for silly and daft doesn't it? Anyway since we couldn't get to Portuguese sun we went in search of English sun and spent some great time with a virtual friend and her virtual dog who got on very well with Hugh the reindeer. You know Hugh has been neglecting his sleigh exercises recently and looking at his photos I am beginning to have serious doubts as to whether he is a reindeer or not. Do you think he looks like a reindeer? Some people say he is a dog, even a greyhound - I just can't believe it. Does this mean that the whole Santa thing is just a delusion? Have I been mad for the last two and a half years - and if so who the heck is Mrs Claus? Just thinking about it - we only meet for 15 minutes in the morning and she is never there at night and when we do spend time together she is always chatting to virtual friends on bl---y FACEBOOK.
I must be suffering a complete identity crisis
Dear reader please help me through this complicated and worrying situation and tell me who I really am - that is if dear reader you are not imaginary as well
Two nights ago I dreamt that someone was going to send me a parcel and so convinced was I that it was of crucial importance I went down to the letter box at 3.00 in the morning to check
HELP!!!!!!!!