I am living in an electronic age that I do not understand. Birthdays are for growing old graciously without intrustion from the outside world apart from 3 very nice bottles of wine from the office girls. So some very nice cards through the post - you know the sort of thing, views, cars, sports equipment, flowers and good wishes and then WHAM!! one e-card and two birthday hits on facebook. I just can't cope anymore - the 21st Century is trying to grab me screaming and kicking. Then to cap it all T Mobile have just sent me a text inviting me to a rave in Trafalgar Square for their next TV commercial.
So what, dear reader may you ask, happened on my 55th birthday. No rest for Santa. We had a course on challenging behaviour. I sometimes wonder if my colleagues have been on ones to learn how to be challenging but this was supposed to explore various forms of behaviour, some of the underlying reasons and then some of the responses. Was I set up? -- well that was my fear but actually it went quite well and I only got stitched up twice. Since the head of commissioning for London Borough of Enfield is on public record as saying that I am only an accountant and know nothing about learning disability I got the short straw to feed back on "what is behaviour, what makes it challenging and how do we know why it is challenging". I thought I did quite well but was told I "was taking it too managerially" but then it probably wasn't a good idea to have told the wonderfully named Caroline Dibble that she should word the question more clearly next time. Anyway, over coffee there was discussion about what a nice sunny day it was and how the blonde bomber would rather be out with the top off. I had to remostrate with her manager about this outburst of unseemly behaviour from which time it later became apparent that I had become the subject of mild gambling as to whether I would take up the invitation or not. Suffice to say that I was then taken out (to the significant financial cost of some colleagues) in an open top MR2, around the country lanes at high speed. Lots of comments about needing personal care (those in the care of health professions know what I mean) but actually not scary at all - at least not after 3 laps of Brands Hatch with a professional racing driver several years ago. I believe the pedestrian is making good progress and I should probably send him some flowers.
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Wednesday, 22 April 2009
Israel digested
Erratum: for LSA in the last blog please read "technician". The real LSA is now working full time and the two are not to be confused. Also there have been complaints from the lady who walks three feet off the ground due to a misunderstanding about the origins of her nom de plume. Please be assured it has nothing to do with S, rather an incident in church - now that has got you wondering.
What can be said about our pilgrimage to the Holy Land? It was all that we wanted it to be and more I think. We had a complete range of emotions from frustration and a little fear at the border crossing, great sadness at what has become of Bethlehem, a wonderful sense of peace on Galilee, hope and blessing at the empty tomb in the garden at Golgotha and elation and wonder in Petra. Thousands of years of history, not just the history of man but the story of God's intervention in the lives of men. From the heat and salt half a mile below sea level to the breeze, sun and cool of half a mile above sea level at Masada.
There is a T shirt that says "Med Dead Red" indicating the three seas that border the country of Israel. The Med as we saw it in Tel Aviv, Jaffa, Haifa and Acre (Akko to those who prefer the original) was wild and rough with big waves breaking over the harbour walls. Definitely not what we are more used to seeing from France or spain or from the Spanish or Greek islands. Rain and lack of time thwarted any thoughts we might have had of dipping a toe. Dead - sparkling and inviting but striking cold to the first touch and once in everything that Halliwick would expect it to be. (if you want to know more about that remark try out www.halliwick.org.uk). It has to be said that the lady who walks three feet off the ground presented classic rotation patterns reflecting the changes experienced in the metacentric effects. She may take heart that she is now entered in the Halliwick archives as a classic demonstration for new therapists. We also have the vision of my favourite retired teacher holding the technican's toe and shading her eyes against the sun. The funny thing about going into cold water is that when you come out it feels warm and you are happy to go back as if you were climbing back into a bath. The same can be said of Red. Santa knows as he was the only one of the party to try the sea against the pool. Interesting companions in the Red including some fish and several sea urchins. Then of course there were the sulphur baths which I believe I have mentioned before. HOT and smelly whereas the showers were icy cold like needles hitting the skin.
So that deals with the first full day and the last full day and you will have to wait to know what came in between. We have yet to meet the talker, the soldier and the prince
What can be said about our pilgrimage to the Holy Land? It was all that we wanted it to be and more I think. We had a complete range of emotions from frustration and a little fear at the border crossing, great sadness at what has become of Bethlehem, a wonderful sense of peace on Galilee, hope and blessing at the empty tomb in the garden at Golgotha and elation and wonder in Petra. Thousands of years of history, not just the history of man but the story of God's intervention in the lives of men. From the heat and salt half a mile below sea level to the breeze, sun and cool of half a mile above sea level at Masada.
There is a T shirt that says "Med Dead Red" indicating the three seas that border the country of Israel. The Med as we saw it in Tel Aviv, Jaffa, Haifa and Acre (Akko to those who prefer the original) was wild and rough with big waves breaking over the harbour walls. Definitely not what we are more used to seeing from France or spain or from the Spanish or Greek islands. Rain and lack of time thwarted any thoughts we might have had of dipping a toe. Dead - sparkling and inviting but striking cold to the first touch and once in everything that Halliwick would expect it to be. (if you want to know more about that remark try out www.halliwick.org.uk). It has to be said that the lady who walks three feet off the ground presented classic rotation patterns reflecting the changes experienced in the metacentric effects. She may take heart that she is now entered in the Halliwick archives as a classic demonstration for new therapists. We also have the vision of my favourite retired teacher holding the technican's toe and shading her eyes against the sun. The funny thing about going into cold water is that when you come out it feels warm and you are happy to go back as if you were climbing back into a bath. The same can be said of Red. Santa knows as he was the only one of the party to try the sea against the pool. Interesting companions in the Red including some fish and several sea urchins. Then of course there were the sulphur baths which I believe I have mentioned before. HOT and smelly whereas the showers were icy cold like needles hitting the skin.
So that deals with the first full day and the last full day and you will have to wait to know what came in between. We have yet to meet the talker, the soldier and the prince
Monday, 13 April 2009
back by popular demand (or is it nagging?)
Arrested at the Jordan border!!!!!
Well not actually but I had to come up with some plausible excuse as to why you have not heard from me for rather a long time. Partly I didn't want to flag a trip to Israel too soon just in case someone out there in the blogosphere had designs on burgling the house whilst we were away and since coming back there just hasn't been time - but fear not dear reader you have always been near my thoughts. Memory is a strange thing (particularly mine), it has the capacity to help you remember things that never happened, forget the really important ones and endow some of the things in between with a rosy tint. Mrs Claus on the other hand has a capacity to pull events and dates from her cerebral filing cabinet with amazing accuracy and speed. For instance I did not even remember that 23 years ago we were held on the tarmac for over two hours waiting for take off let alone the reason. That reason we later found out was an Irish lady intercepted at the airport carrying all the constituent parts of a bomb given to her as a present for the family by her "boyfriend". The shooting dead of the German tourist less then 50 feet away from us I do remember but thankfully not in technicolour.
Baggage searches this time were far more overt. Over the range of 6 international border crossings all of us had our cases searched at least once and the more suspicious looking ones (like me) twice or more. ~The trick is not to tell them anything. An affirmative answer to any of the following questions will result in an immediate search
Do you know anyone in Israel?
Has anyone given you anything to put in your luggage?
Did someone else pack/help you to pack the luggage
Has the luggage ever been out of your sight since you packed it?
Are you carrying a bomb? they do try to catch you out by asking the same question in a different format later on during the process
Do you have anything electrical?
The tale of the mobile phone in the suitcase will live long in the collective memory. The lady who walks 3 feet off the ground admitted to having electrical things including a mobile phone in her suitcase which of course prompted an immediate and thorough search. However no trace could be found of the mobile phone, or the alleged hair dryer, not amongst the clean clothes nor even the dirty washing. Even the assistance of Santa failed to find the elusive object until a further officer was called upon to exercise his skill in searching for such things. Skills honed by years of training proved their worth and the phone emerged, not without embarrassment. As the lady who walks 3 feet off the ground said later "it came out tangled in my bra - and it was my black one!" Gentleman readers of a sensitive disposition should perhaps take a break now before reading on .............................................................................
Leading a group of excitable pilgrims is not without its hazards, particularly when having to deal with horses and camels for the trip and faced with constant demands for bathrooms, restrooms, wc or comfort breaks to say nothing of fending off hunky hotel receptionists. More of Sebastian later perhaps. Although there were three gentleman and five ladies in the party (later joined by two of each for our first week), I am reminded most of the trio from the Mikado "three little girls from school are we" as we travelled with our not so innocents abroad.
The party consisted of Mrs Claus and myself (of course), the lady who walks 3 feet off the ground, her companion with the dirty laugh, my favourite retired teacher, the LSA, the tennis champion and the station master. Then we were joined by the Bolton two, the haggler from Yeovil and the monk.
Domestically you will be pleased to know that both body builder and jetski boy survived our absence. There was even evidence of washing up having been done which really marks a step up the evolutionary ladder. Keeping in mind the date of our return we were greeted on the doorstep by bodybuilder clutching a large parcel which he proceeded to give to Mrs Claus saying "here's a mothers' day present for you". The contents of this largess you might wonder? - dirty washing. To his credit he did return the following day with a proper and very well thought out gift whilst jetski boy produced, unprompted, a bunch of flowers.
Now that should have whetted your appetite for a while but for a fuller diary you will have to wait until the next time I log on.
thanks for reading - more to follow
Well not actually but I had to come up with some plausible excuse as to why you have not heard from me for rather a long time. Partly I didn't want to flag a trip to Israel too soon just in case someone out there in the blogosphere had designs on burgling the house whilst we were away and since coming back there just hasn't been time - but fear not dear reader you have always been near my thoughts. Memory is a strange thing (particularly mine), it has the capacity to help you remember things that never happened, forget the really important ones and endow some of the things in between with a rosy tint. Mrs Claus on the other hand has a capacity to pull events and dates from her cerebral filing cabinet with amazing accuracy and speed. For instance I did not even remember that 23 years ago we were held on the tarmac for over two hours waiting for take off let alone the reason. That reason we later found out was an Irish lady intercepted at the airport carrying all the constituent parts of a bomb given to her as a present for the family by her "boyfriend". The shooting dead of the German tourist less then 50 feet away from us I do remember but thankfully not in technicolour.
Baggage searches this time were far more overt. Over the range of 6 international border crossings all of us had our cases searched at least once and the more suspicious looking ones (like me) twice or more. ~The trick is not to tell them anything. An affirmative answer to any of the following questions will result in an immediate search
Do you know anyone in Israel?
Has anyone given you anything to put in your luggage?
Did someone else pack/help you to pack the luggage
Has the luggage ever been out of your sight since you packed it?
Are you carrying a bomb? they do try to catch you out by asking the same question in a different format later on during the process
Do you have anything electrical?
The tale of the mobile phone in the suitcase will live long in the collective memory. The lady who walks 3 feet off the ground admitted to having electrical things including a mobile phone in her suitcase which of course prompted an immediate and thorough search. However no trace could be found of the mobile phone, or the alleged hair dryer, not amongst the clean clothes nor even the dirty washing. Even the assistance of Santa failed to find the elusive object until a further officer was called upon to exercise his skill in searching for such things. Skills honed by years of training proved their worth and the phone emerged, not without embarrassment. As the lady who walks 3 feet off the ground said later "it came out tangled in my bra - and it was my black one!" Gentleman readers of a sensitive disposition should perhaps take a break now before reading on .............................................................................
Leading a group of excitable pilgrims is not without its hazards, particularly when having to deal with horses and camels for the trip and faced with constant demands for bathrooms, restrooms, wc or comfort breaks to say nothing of fending off hunky hotel receptionists. More of Sebastian later perhaps. Although there were three gentleman and five ladies in the party (later joined by two of each for our first week), I am reminded most of the trio from the Mikado "three little girls from school are we" as we travelled with our not so innocents abroad.
The party consisted of Mrs Claus and myself (of course), the lady who walks 3 feet off the ground, her companion with the dirty laugh, my favourite retired teacher, the LSA, the tennis champion and the station master. Then we were joined by the Bolton two, the haggler from Yeovil and the monk.
Domestically you will be pleased to know that both body builder and jetski boy survived our absence. There was even evidence of washing up having been done which really marks a step up the evolutionary ladder. Keeping in mind the date of our return we were greeted on the doorstep by bodybuilder clutching a large parcel which he proceeded to give to Mrs Claus saying "here's a mothers' day present for you". The contents of this largess you might wonder? - dirty washing. To his credit he did return the following day with a proper and very well thought out gift whilst jetski boy produced, unprompted, a bunch of flowers.
Now that should have whetted your appetite for a while but for a fuller diary you will have to wait until the next time I log on.
thanks for reading - more to follow
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