a wheely good weekend

No this has nothing to do with the much vaunted, and definitley overrated return of Jonathon Woss to our screens. Instead this is a story about things with one black wheel and four silver wheels or in my case at the moment two black wheels and three silver ones. As regular readers will know, last weekend saw Jetski boy buying his first car with his money and my wallet - insurance, road tax, spare parts servicing - all the little things that make owning a car such a delight. Santa, as you would expect drives something large and red and a nasty scratch on the back bumper. "Honest officer, this wall leapt out and hit me". I had been getting itchy accelerator feet for a while, caused by wandering round car showrooms and called to photos on web sites with and by relatively small boys. SMALL - what am I talking about, one weighs a solid 3 stone more than me and the other now tops me by several inches. I think I must be shrinking in direct proportion to my bank balance. Anyway, back to the story. On the basis that Santa's sleigh was being serviced and subjected to the indignities of an MOT I had taken Jetski Boy's vehicle to work, had a bad day and driven home early on the pretext of writing up all the papers in the evening. Talking of MOTs, I bet you never ever thought of the regulations I had to put up with over emissions when it was just the reindeer! Just as I was driving past CWC, a reputable retailer of second hand sleighs something called to me from the back of the forecourt (if you understand what I mean). Just glimpse but it was enough to persuade me to harness up my remaining reindeer Hugh and return to CWC forthwith. To my distress when we arrived outside the little silver sleigh was nowhere to be seen. But wait, here is CW himself, looking gaunt and wan - it is not a good time in the second hand sleigh market. "Did I not see an M3 sleigh here but half an hour ago?" I enquired. CW confirmed that that was indeed the case and it was even now being valeted after its long sojourn from Peterborough. It had had only one previous owner and had recently been acquired from the Royal Bank of Scotland as part of their pre-nationalisation disposal of assets. In the meantime my trusty old red sleigh had returned from its MOT with a full certificate of health with the exception of one of its silver wheels which had been replaced on a temporary basis by an old fashioned steel one until I can obtain a new and legal tyre. So next weekend will see the end of an era as I swap my trustee Euro Sleigh for an bright shiny, silver Nippon Sleigh. This does however represent a considerable downsizing in terms of capacity as it is now only FabAl and Mrs Claus and one elf together with reindeer Hugh.

The ups and downs of a teenager

A very tough week, partly of my own making. For the second time in my life I have built a whole team structure including some very carefully worded job descriptions around a particular person only to see them walk away from the opportunity and my plans in tatters. The last time it nearly wrecked a life as well as a job so it is to be hoped that this time the consequences will not be so serious for all concerned. I like to think that there is still a way back but then despite everything my glass is always at least half full. Emotional commitment, subterfuge and final admission of failure (at least in the immediate future) all take it out of you so getting home Friday was a welcome relief. Those familiar with my habits will know that Friday is "chill in front of a DVD/Video" (yes I am still old fashioned enough to have video and I think Blu Ray is a fish!) night, preferably with a glass of something intoxicating on the side. No DVD this Friday, instead I wrestled with technology and managed to access the programmes I had saved on the "set top box" A great documentary on Pink Floyd and a rather self indulgent film about Genesis. Made we want to go and dig out the vinyl. Talking of Genesis - a very interesting housegroup this week. Being the bicentennial of Darwin this year (birth or death? someone asked and I still don't know the answer) we put the creation account in Genesis chapters 1 and 2 on one side and the Origin of Species on the other DISCUSS". Well it was a very interesting evening and I think we reached a point where no one could be accused of being a fundamentalist and no one was written down as a wooly liberal but it was a good opportunity to review our own beliefs and where we stand in the light of God given scripture and investigative science. As one of the group said "one is science and the other is faith" and there is no answer to that. So maybe even here, or perhaps especially here it is appropriate to ask the question "will I ever learn"
Which brings me in a rather circuitous way to the highs and lows of teenage life. Unfortunately Jetski boy had a disappointment during the week in connection with his driving progress. However he bounced back by informing me that "a nice Corsa had appeared in Masons" - code for can we go and look at a car. His comment about the "massive rims" and the discovery of an exhaust system with an exit port only marginally less massive than the rims brought his verdict of "a chav's car". This no longer seems to be an expression limited only to Basildon, or even just Essex so I feel no reason to explain further. At least the upholstery wasn't Burberry!
Anyway, we then met P who invited us to l"ook at that one which has only just come in" complete with mud splashed all down the side. Since we had been given the keys it seemed rude not to take if for spin. I think P must specialise in deceptive cars. The last Fiesta we tried from there turned out to have a 1600cc engine with sports tuning and an insurance premium that could have purchased several branches of Woolworths. And so we returned this elderly but "nice runner" to his tender care and said that we quite liked it but it depended on the price. The price was reasonable and a deposit changed hands at which time the revelation was made that this one, a Clio, had an 1800cc engine!!!!!! With the insurance premium I could have bought this and another car so it looked as if this would be another disappointment. And then that friendly dog with aspirations to be a prime minister (or do ads for Yorkshire Bitter) arrived with a discount premium to make you bite the hand off. So, out with the cheque book (credit card more like) and back to P who seemed not at all phased by a request to take immediate delivery. The keys were handed to Jetski boy together with a crisp £20 note to "go to the carwash and get some diesel" the latter being the second revelation as I would happily have filled it up with petrol. Now all Jetski boy has to do is get the keys back off Dad and persuade him to put the L plates on. If you see a blue Clio that sounds like a tractor then you have been warned (especially if a man in a red coat and a white beard is driving)

Happy New Year

Another new year is upon us, the time just flies past so fast I had hardly come to terms with 2008 before it was gone and over half the first week of 2009 is already passed, used up, never to be lived again, not even by the recently appointed "youngest Dr Who in history". I have to grudgingly admit that David Tennant was the best Doctor since William Hartnell (younger readers try Googling him), he seemed to be able to invoke the original horror and fear that had us all cowering behind the settee whilst maintaining the humour of the character.
Christmas found us a somewhat disparate family. FabAl was in Dorset enjoying icy, crisp weather and a wind coming in off the see that cut you off at teh knees and rendered any bare flesh numb within a matter of minutes. After a good yomp across the cliffs a return to the warmth of Hive Beach Cafe was very welcome. The bright sun and Christmas cheer had brought out a surprisingly large number of people and all the seats inside were taken so I joined the dog walkers at the tables outside. The marshmallows on top of my steaming hot chocolate immediately disappeared across the Atlantic, no doubt a Christmas treat for a passing gull. Mrs Claus had to work over Christmas so stayed at home with Jetski Boy who had a virtual Christmas, returning to reality only to take on board food and drink as needed. Bodybuilder was in Devon and then Wales, yomping in his own way through woods and across fields at the dead of night with someone called Florence who he would have us believe has four legs. The other four legged one, Hugh, enjoyed Christmas in his own way including one extended walk with Mrs Prim and Proper. On Christmas Eve Mrs Claus and I had drinks and nibbles with Mrs Prim and Proper underneath a trade Christmas tree but the promised purple dreadlocks did not make an appearance.
So, what does 2009 hold for us all. For Mrs Claus and FabAl it should be a pilgrimage to Israel. As I said to some of our party this morning, not to worry, they declared war just before we went last time and we all came home safe and sound (with the exception of one German tourist shot dead at Gethsemane but we try not to think about that). Then of course there was that unfortunate incident in Sri Lanka when the Tamil Tigers declared war whilst we were there! I don't think it was personal. For Bodybuilder and JetskiBoy it should see completed college courses and who knows, maybe even a foray into the world of work. FabAl will continue to pretend he knows what he is doing as Chief Executive of EM (no one has rumbled him yet).
A very happy new year to my reader and maybe you might be joined by others during the year.