They're back!

No not Lord Voldermort, as finally declared by the Minister of Magic at the end of the Order of the Phoenix (if you don't know what I am talking about ask a 10 year old). No, I refer to the ring necked parakeets which have finally made a noisy return to the woods in the nature reserve. After seeing a lone male flying on Christmas Day I had no positive sitings until the other weekend when a flock of half a dozen wheeled over my head with flashes of red, yellow and green. I had assumed that the very cold weather in the second half of the winter had wiped out the small colony. Funny how attached we get to some colourful immigrants. Somehow, awful though it may sound, if I had lost a group of Albanians or Poles in the woods over the winter I don't think I would have been so bothered. That's the British I suppose.
Yet again I must apologise for the long silence, nearly as bad as the parakeets, since I last blogged. I can't even blame the parliamentary recess as most political bloggers seem to have been at it just as hard over the summer.
I am looking at a pictogram of a greyhound, the emblem of the Retired Greyhound Trust, who have been known to take the odd reindeer by mistake from time to time. We went to a coffee morning in support of them a couple of weeks ago and came back with lots of "greyhound" stuff and helped them raise quite a bit of money into the bargain. I rather suspect greyhound goodies may make their way into some of Santa's sacks this year. Their publicity reads: "great companions; good with children; don't need large amounts of exercise; don't cost huge amounts to feed; generally quiet and don't bark a lot and are a very healthy breed" - doesn't sound like a reindeer to me!
Yesterday was a fun day with Mr and Mrs Claus going out incognito to celebrate the 50th anniversary of our local tube depot. I prefer travelling by sleigh myself but it was interesting to see how the Muggles (ask a 10 year old) travel. "attle trucks"is the phrase that comes to mind but very interesting to see different ages of rolling stock going back to early Metropolitan and District days, even to steam power for the early subterranean routes.Then we saw the promise of the new Euro Tube,which looks a bit like a bendybus but runs on rails. Lots of space and very airy. What they really mean is that they have taken out half the seats so they can cram in more people standing and given them air conditioning to cope with the smell. Mind you stand under one of the air conditioning vents and you will have a stiff neck or a frozen shoulder for the rest of the day. They are promised to come into service this year BUT not on this bit of the line until 2013 if we all last that long. We finished the day with a trip on a double decker bus which was "jolly fun" as my Aunt would say as we sailed gracefully under the "low bridge" that proclaims "no buses". Which all goes to show - something or other. Either we were all shorter 40 years ago or we just didn't mind getting cricks in our necks every time we stood up to go down the stairs. Those were the days, an open platform with a white pole to hang onto whilst waiting to jump off as soon as the bus got slow enough, or even to grab onto if you were running to catch up. Clippies who rang the bell and told you to "hold tight please". (NB 10 year olds if you don't understand what I am talking about ask an adult, preferably one over forty who remembers the time when buses were not totally enclosed and there were enough employment vacancies to have a driver AND a ticket collector

No !!!!!!!! e-mails

I marvel at just how much we have come to rely on modern technology and how lost we are when it breaks down. Incredimail, the wonderful company that provides my e-mail service with lots of pictures and cartoons and fancy notifiers has taken a dislike to me. About 20 times a day it sends me a message to tell me that it can't send me any messages because my mailbox is full. This continues despite the fact that I have deleted every e-mail in my in box, every e-mail in my sent box and every e-mail in my deleted box. With much sorrow I have also deleted all those funny little messages you all send me that I keep in separate folders just in case I ever want to remind myself what it would be like if women ruled the world or 101 things sunday school children are alleged to have said or even better all those air brushed photographs of things that couldn't possibly ever have happened. I have even deleted the one showing the girl on the back of a Harley with a specially adapted bra to keep a bottle of Becks in - maybe I should have kept that one!
None of this is meant to imply that I am not grateful for all the bon mots that clutter my inbox or vex me as to who I can (or shouldn't) forward to. You know the sort of thing "send this to all the women you know and any man you think is big enough to take it" - why do I always get those - is someone trying to tell me something?
Anyway, I did all that and moments later "Ping" goes my notifier and the little duck comes into the corner of the screen to tell me that "we cannot send you any messages because your mailbox is full".
Maybe it will be better tomorrow but somehow I doubt it. Dear reader please keep sending me e-mails and one day I might just get them. Just in case I have taken a good old fashioned paper copy of my address book so if the whole thing just blows up at least I will still have all the contacts. - another happy evening to while away loading them all again.
A lesser technology has also featured in the Claus family activities this week. I shall restrict myself to this week even though I see it is several weeks since I last wrote. Mrs Prim and Proper in a bright orange T shirt and cream pedal pushers set the pulses racing at the beginning of the week. Reindeer Hugh gave chase and Mrs P&P pedalled off into the distance. Bodybuilder has just bought a new bike on the not unreasonable basis that he can no longer afford the petrol to go everywhere by car. This is rather different from JetSki boy who expects to go everywhere by car since passing his test and still has the belief that magic elves put diesel in it when he goes to bed. Pragmatist BodyBuilder - 40 people go to Southend for a rave = 10 cars. Idealist JetSki Boy goes to Southend for the ride - 7 people = 7 cars. I suppose realisation will set in eventually, closely followed by "I've got a job Dad" and "that's fine Mum I'll pay". Hmmm who am I trying to kid.
Anyway back to BodyBuilder and his bike. 14 gears, disc brakes, independent suspension - very good except that on day one of serious cycling his chain snapped and he had to call on good old Dad to go out in the silver sleigh to rescue him.
Even so, things are looking better in "the other job" with LBE paying up more than £150k out of the quarter of a million that is still owed from last year.The Board, who mistakenly think I work for them full time seem very pleased at this development. What did they expect, that I was going to reach into a big sack and produce it for them???? - I suppose they will want to sign up the tooth fairy next.
Glad to see from the Blog reports that I have a "follower". My dictionary gives one definition of such as "women of dubious repute who followed the armies to provide various personal services" Dear follower I am sure that does not apply to you (but if it does please don't let Mrs Claus see you lurking around the back of the grotto)
Enough, no more, 'tis not so sweet as it was before - as the good bard said so I shall sign off until the next time I get around to writing. Not such a long interval next time I promise, possibly