Oh Blog it!

There is just never the time, what with Christmas letters and cards to write, presents to buy and inter nicene war declared amongst my staff. Really they are not that bad and they are all there for the right reason - service users not money - but they just don't seem to be able to get on together. The season of goodwill has certainly passed some of them by. As for the Board, they have definitely gone AWOL for me. Not an important meeting on Friday you might think, only the annual accounts to sign off before the Charity Commission deadline (I'm not going to prison for them), the strategic plan to finalise, job descriptions for three new posts (well old posts recycled but substantially changed), and those that bother to come turn up an hour late and "have to leave early". Not quite "the dog ate my homework sir" excuses but not far off really. Further embarrassment to follow. We had been invited to Christmas lunch with the service users which last year was a hectic buffet, so I packed off the trustees, finished a bit of paperwork visited the other projects and arrived around 2.00 (for a 12.30 invitation) expecting maybe a chicken leg and a bit of christmas pudding just to show willing. Have you ever sat on your own eating a full turkey dinner with trimmings and christmas pud to follow watched by 30 people who all wanted to know why you were late? I could have tried blaming the A10 on which I seem to have spent more time sitting than at my desk in the last few weeks. Actually Christmas is a very interesting time of year when your staff range from devout Catholic to strict Moslem with all sorts of variations in between. It is a good opportunity to remind yourself of what Christmas is all about, not the credit crunch blighted commercial fest that it has become. Santa went sick at the service user dinner but fortunately I was not called upon to reprise my role of last year but I still take a professional interest in the grottos that are brought to my attention. This year the Round Table did not live up to expectations. Their motorised sleigh complete with elves in pinstripe suits and anoraks did not even have a santa, just an empty throne which I think summed up the 21st century Christmas more eloquently than I can. Lots of things I could go on about over the last few weeks but before the Grinch finally gets to me I will sign off and take myself to our morning carol service where I hope my spirits will be lifted in more ways than one. If I don't blog again before 25th then may I wish all my readers (now there's optimistic - hello happy READER) a merry Christmas and a blessed new year
with love from Santa

Thou shalt not, or maybe thou shalt!

Looking at the ten commandments last week for some background information for housegroup I put "ten commandments" into Google. In this secular society it will come as no surprised to some, and a real shock to others that only 5 of the top 10 hits had any scriptural reference. Others included on-line dating "the Mafia's top ten commandments". Several referred to the "bloggers' ten commandments". Since by the very fact that you are reading this (I hope someone is reading this) you have an interest in blogging so I list them below for your education and amazement.
1You shall not put your blog before your integrity
2 You shall not make an idol of your blog
3You shall not misuse your screen name by using your anonymity to sin (very appropriate this one in the week when a woman is seeking a divorce because she found her husband was having an affair in cyberspace)
4 Remember the Sabbath Day by taking one do off a week from your blog
5 Honour your fellow bloggers above yourselves and do not give undue significance to their mistakes
6 You shall not murder someone else's honour, reputation or feelings
7 You shall not use the web to commit or permit adultery in your mind (see above)
8 You shall not steal another person's content
9 You shall not give false testimony against your fellow blogger
10 YOu shall not covety your neighbour's blog ranking.
Be content with your content
For the real thing try Exodus 20 or Deuternomy 5
Actually, cyberspace is the one place I have not been this week as the internet has been down at work since Monday. I can access remotely but that means being somewhere else when I should be in the office and that somewhere else having internet access. Although, that said, it is a good measure of just how reliant we are on the net. My usual daily e-log is 50+, the majority being things bounced back and forwards between colleagues. Accessing remotely kept it down to around 12 as I had to do old fashioned things like picking up the phone or even going to see someone.
The cost of living continues to rise with Bodybuilder on water getting a fine for parking in a bus lane and Jetski Boy shopping for his first car. Peter Jay (BBC Economics Editor) says that the way out of the credit crunch is for everyone to start spending again and that everyone should be given £400 on condition that they spend it immediately. Covering the cost of running a house, subsidising a flat and keeping three cars on the road - I am doing my best!
This is not necessarily all I wanted to say but Mrs Claus is anxious to read the next instalment so I will save and post now

Hamilton vs Obama???

A morning spent rolling around semi naked on a couch covered in jelly might sound like someone's idea of fun (possibly my idea of fun) but not on a Tuesday morning with a bursting bladder. Have you ever tried drinking 4 pints of water and then sitting in a car for three quarters of an hour followed by another 20 minutes in the waiting room - yes the NHS still keep you waiting even if ever so politely? Having established that I really, desperately needed to see the doctor NOW I was ushered into the surgery whereupon he began a lengthy introduction about who he was, why I was there and what was going to happen. With everything crossed so tightly that I seriously began to wonder whether I would ever be untangled again I managed to convey that I was quite anxious to get on with the matter in hand rather than squirm in idle chit chat. Of course he and the nurse quite understood but first there was the slight matter of coating me in jelly and prodding me in exquisitley painful places with an ultrasound scanner until they realised they were in iminent danger of the surgery being flooded. I was then introduced to THE FUNNEL which frankly is every little boy's dream - something you can wee into as hard as you can for as long as you can. I scored 465 @ 16 which I was told was very good. To those who cannot go on living without knowing the answer that is 465ml of urine discharged at a rate of 16ml/second and there is a bonus point for the look of relief at the end of the proceedings. "Did I feel better?", "did I feel that I was fully emptied?" - well yes was the answer until he went poking around with his scanner again and putting quite a lot of pressure on places that are not used to having pressure put upon them. The truthful answer - I was far from empty but a lot more comfortable than I was, so off to the funnel again. This time not quite such a mad dash with trousers roughly hoisted around my waist, which is just as well since the "little room" was the other side of the waiting room. "Had I had my kidneys checked through the back passage?" well that was about to change but let me advise you not to put it high on your list of 100 things I want to do before I die.
The average bladder is capable of holding 2 litres plus so my 465 ml was little more than a drop in the ocean but the remainder made it's presence very plain as I drove back to work. There are NO public toilets between the surgery and the office (a journey of approximately one and a half hours) and only a limited number of farm gates that are not overlooked by curious passers by or the odd cow.
As for Lewis - WELL DONE sir although I suspect it is only a matter of time before Brazilian conspiracy theorists start suggesting that Bloch is in the pay of the Maclaren camp.
Obama? - frankly if I get a good night's sleep without having to trot down the stairs three or four times then I shall be happy to let even the Americans sort it out for themselves

Teeth out - cooker in

My father used to have an expression "I have had all my teeth out and a new cooker put in" - I think it went back to an old joke or even a Goons' sketch but it has stuck with me as many family sayings do. Anyway my teeth are not causing problems but Bodybuilder has had a new gas cooker added to the flat. My part of N London seems much better served with decent supplies of second hand things than our posh bit of Essex and I was able to find him quite a good one at a reasonable price. "Cash?" I asked the man, implying that I assumed he took neither cheques nor credit cards, but his response was more friendly and he knocked 15% off. "Are we delivering it?" he said but I declined as I am sure he had anticipated just round the corner, not a 60 mile round trip. The sad thing is (for my pocket at least) that it has cost more to have it fitted than it did to buy it in the first place but at least we do have the reassurance of the gas man having thoroughly checked it over and pronounced it "in sound working order and a good deal". So much for Bodybuilder, Mrs Claus and I are currently having a meaningful debate over whether we can afford a bar of chocolate - from her perspective calories and from mine, pounds of an entirely different nature.
Workwise has been a personnel manager's nightmare so I guess it is just as well we haven't got one, only me. Last Thursday we interviewed 3 candidates for a new managerial post, one that for a variety of reasons is politically very sensitive and really requires a female, Greek Cypriot, PT trained coach with NVQ4 in care (With extra LD module) who drives and doesn't mind working 14 hour days. Needless to say we failed to appoint but the candidates were so inadequate that I was able to vent considerable spleen in letters of complaint to the recruitment agencies. That said, one of the candidates was so good in other respects but totally inappropriate in management that we just had to create a job for him to bring some quality into the team. Just a bit of a shock when he came for interview as a physical development coach walking with the aid of a pair of crutches. It says something for the great care with which the agency vets its candidates and matches them with the client's criteria that when we offered him a different job at £7,000 less than the advertised salary he bit our hand off and couldn't wait to start - ambulatory issues notwithstanding
My new manager,on the other hand, seems at the opposite extreme and is desperate to put two of his staff on disciplinary action pending instant dismissal (his or theirs I am not sure which). Actually he is very good but does remind me of someone closer to home, being very dogmatic in his approach, legalistic, always right but not necessarily wishing to sue everyone in sight. (readers draw your own conclusions)
Jetski Boy has started driving lessons (or have I told you that before?). Terry says he is good but I wonder if he just says that to make paying less painful. Mind you he has a very good record of success with getting young gentlemen through their tests and at £19/hour is, I suspect, a lot cheaper than many instructors from the larger companies. Even so, I am not sure what I am getting for my money when after 3 lessons Jetski Boy tells me that "next week we start on real roads"
One of the problems writing the blog in this panel is that I cannot see what has gone before and my memory not being what it was (was it ever) there are times when I cannot recall whether I have told you things before. Be patient dear reader, all will become clear in time. Mr Claus has been asked to return to the Grotto. The elves of Lakeside have written several times under the pseudonym of Fiona asking me to return to my old haunts and having failed to elicit a positive response they then arranged to telephone me all the way from Lapland to ask if I would don the old red suit and beard again. I have to tell you reader that I was sorely tempted. The opportunity to sit in a cramped box, illuminated by halogen lamps and camera flash and be a climbing frame for sticky children was almost too much to resist, but resist I did. So don't be fooled, if you go down to Lakeside this winter and see some old man in a red suit sitting in a grotto, it is an imposter as the real Mr Claus will be stuck on the M25, sans reindeer, trying to get to the day job.
Mind you the day job might be a bit sticky in its own right for a while. The Trust Mees have been promising the service users a new minibus for some time and as requested I had arranged a full range of options on contract hire which seemed the most sensible option, declaring revenue expenditure, upping visible unit cost, all that sort of thing when Trust Mee J said that was not the way to go and that even if the installments looked good value you often got stung on return at the end of the contract period - several little scratches becoming a complete respray for instance. How does he know this you ask - well he used to be a rep collecting ex contract hire vehicles for LDV (which I understand is now part owned by the Russian Oligarch trying to ruin the Bullingdon Boy). We want to BUY one they said - we have a legacy coming in. Telling your Trust Mees that they are like children in a sweet shop with a shiny new shilling is perhaps not a good career move!

FINALLY!!!!!

I cannot believe it was August when I last blogged - in fact I know it wasn't August when I last blogged so who has been stealing my blogs and who remembers what I said when I posted that has now disappeared? Someone tell me I am not going mad - please.
So what's going on in Fabal's world?
I think I may have mentioned (that's the trouble when you are posting, you can't read what you have already put) that Bodybuilder is now in his flat and doing very well. He has completely decorated his main room in very tasteful colours and this is now full of a bed , a computer and not much else. The bathroom and toilet were quite disgusting when he moved in and he has done a really great job in cleaning up and decorating. It's almost a pleasure to go, but not quite along the lines of Madonna Inn in California if anyone is familiar with that. There things seem to have ground to a halt BUT we were entertained to dinner there this evening (the flat, not the bathroom) and an excellent meal it was apart from the electricity failing half way through. A romantic dinner by candlelight for four and a dog doesn't quite work.
Jetski boy is now raring to start driving lessons (courtesy of 18th birthday) so all those journeys in his car "just to keep the battery topped up" have proved worthwhile.
Whilst all this was going on, Mrs Claus and Fabal had a very good week in Yorkshire, the requisite Indian Summer having been ordered. Everywhere seems to have a wheel these days including York and on our last evening this was magnificently illuminated to great effect. We really wanted to revive memories of the Minster but memory has its price and at £6.50 a head we decided to keep our memories faulty though they may be. My own, recall Archbishops of York and Canterbury together with Robin, Primate of all Ireland descending on my mother and telling her what a wonderful little boy she has. Such memories are priceless and in this instance actually true. Unlike the memories of Zaphod Beeblebrox whose mother is simply waiting for what she calls "the right price". Harry Enfield doing Douglas Adams by the way is just no substitute for the good old days of Peter Jones. Oh to be a hitchhiker exploring the galaxy on 30 altarian dollars a day. The trouble with Yorkshire is that they have obviously moved some of it around as I am sure things are not in the same place they used to be 30 years ago when the County saw the nuptuals of Mrs Claus and Fabal.
Vaccinations are very much the theme at the moment, at least for the senior members of the family (Hugh having now officially passed his 50th birthday in dog years) with Hepatitis for the two legged ones, flu for Mrs Claus and the most expensive Bob Martins for you know who. Needles are not by favourite thing so now we have this interesting exercise whereby Mrs Claus books a double appointment and then calls me in at the last minute, distracts me whilst Rebecca sticks a pin in me and then sends me out again. They all have a good laugh at the surgery and I manage not to fall on the floor so everyone is happy, unless of course they were waiting to see me fall on the floor if that is what passes for entertainment these days.
I shall refrain from comment on the economy as it is likely to make me cry, most of my investments and all my pension being tied up in one particular bank. This is obviously my penance for having once admitted to selling endowment mortgages. All I can say is that the Saint and I got out as soon as we could after that started. Jetski Boy is asking for an explanation of futures and derivatives and then quotes facts and figures about the great depression to me saying that he got a B in history and knows all about it. Does anyone want to go halves in a soup kitchen with me?
I am sure that there are lots of other items of news and comment just waiting to be added but the meter requires another sixpence so I must sign off for now. I hope to be back with you more quickly this time so thank you for your patience and I will blog with you again soon

My mind is a blank I don't know what to say. A whirlwind of events have led to such confusion. As I write I am distracted by a collared dove, who having tipped the bird feeder up at an angle is now desperately trying to eat as much grain as possible before it all falls down to the waiting sparrows underneath. Birds really have no gratitude. The pigeons have stripped all my green beans from the plants and the sparrows scatter seed in every direction giving some most exotic plants across the garden. I am sure some of them are illegal. The four legged one does his best but they have usually flown by the time he gets down the garden and then they sit in the trees and laugh at him
Bodybuilder is home for a few days before hoping to collect the keys to his new flat. It is nice to have him back but already we are looking forward to him going! This could be a whole new phase in his life and we will do everything we can to make it go smoothly but I wasn't necessarily expecting to have to bankroll the entire process. "In my day" and everyone else's we started with "second hand and not much of that" as one of my friends said - bet you never thought you would make it onto the blog eh? -
Jetski Boy remains in Zante - we work on the assumption that no news is good news since they all seem to have their mobiles switched off or are just too much in the party spirit to remember where they left them or "whose ringtone is that?" He is due back mid week although we are not sure when and probably neither is he.
Work - don't ask or I might start to cry but the Board are behind me at the moment - as the man said just before he was pushed over the cliff
Some moments of wonderful peace though as I took time out in my own personal Abbey
Regular visitors may notice some changes in photos. Bodybuilder and Jetskiboy did not want their faces on the blog. Doing stupid things on U Tube or Facebook, that's different, but Dad's blog is not cool.
We are looking for great things from Father Robert this week. Having discussed the real location of Mt Sinai, Christian Olympics, giving communion to minors and homosexual bishops I thought it was time for a change whilst I wrestle with the possibilities of the calling of the Levitical priesthood. The eternal student continues to disappoint with his absence and Cheeky Girl is suffering with another round of bad headaches so our numbers are a little depleted but as the only group continuing through the summer we give ourselves a pat on the back. That said, organisation is a bit lacking as we have still not made our Christmas party plans (2007)
I walked up past the Forest Centre this morning, a very sad sight and the four legged one picked a fight with a Staff so quite an eventful morning

The case of the missing blogs

Where have all the blogs gone? - you might well ask. My last two witty and interesting posts have disappeared into the ether never to be read again. Unfortunately I cannot remember most of the bon mots so you will just have to credit me with being brilliant and await the next instalment. There was a man on the radio the other day talking about variant spelling which as far as I could c waz just an xcus 4 knot being able to spel in the 1st plaice. All that and now they want to allow you use text messaging code in exams.
I have lost the car! Not that I have forgotten where I parked it, but body builder on water has returned and reclaimed it as his own. He paid for it so fair enough I suppose, all I do is pay the tax, insurance, MOT and servicing and fill it up with petrol at regular intervals. I have to admit I did enjoy being boy racer for a while with the fruity exhaust and the subs in the back. Cold Play and Pink Floyd were best even if there is nearly 40 years between them. Somehow Beethoven doesn't have quite the same effect but is much better suited to the slightly more refined performance of my own means of conveyance. That is of course if I am not running around in soon to be Jetski Boy's car which has no radio at all (at least not a working one). So bodybuilder on water has returned to the fold and we expect complaints from the neighbours imminently as his taste in music hasn't improved, nor has the volume at which he likes to play it. Mind you, Jetski Boy has developed a liking for Jimmy Hendrix so who knows what will happen after that.
Sadly Billy Cotton has passed on. I did make a comment about Wakey Wakey! but they told me that was the wrong one, apparently this one is responsible for the Two Ronnies (good), Monty Python (OK) and Generation Game (oh well I suppose we are all allowed one mistake)
Mrs Claus has been most unwell with a strained muscle in her neck nd is only just recovering after pills, ointments and a range of surgical collars, heated and padded.
Did you get the storm last Wednesday? Very impressive as we were swimming back down the M11. Unfortunately the spectacular turned into the disastrous as our local forest community centre was struck by lightning and burnt down. They have only just reopened the site to sensible walkers (ie people with dogs) but it will be a very long time before the centre is rebuilt and open again. I will just have to wait for my coffee and caramel shortcake
I am going to stop now and post this to ensure that it has posted if that makes sense. If it posts successfully you can read all about it, if not then you won't know and I will have wasted yet another 15 minutes. They say everyone has 15 minutes of fame - well this obviously wasn't it

Little Mice

If you read the Mail on Saturday's TV magazine you will know all about mice and what some people think of them, real or imagined. We have already had one infestation of mice this year (well two mice actually but you know what that can lead to - unless of course they are Bishop Robinson mice!). Personally I think they come in to commune with the mad quadruped and he certainly shows no hostility to them having killed one once by mistake and never really having got over it.
That said I am actually very fond of little mice. They are small and cuddly and so defenceless and dare I say cute - no I mustn't say cute. Very lovable in their own vulnerable way and sad when they are no longer with you.
So what else is new in the land of the Blog? Not much really. My car has no petrol in it so Jetski Boy and Bodybuilder's have been much in use although of course it is a false economy since I will have to fill all of them up eventually. I still get caught out by Jetski Boy's choke, it is so many years since I regularly drove a care without an automatic choke. In fact that belonged to Mrs Claus and its excuse was that it was built somewhere behind the iron curtain. Now the only curtain I hide behind is one of black smoke if I don't get the mixture right and a tank full of kangaroos until I get it sorted. In this weather it is quite quick to adjust but earlier in the year it could take several miles of lurch and gurgle before I achieved even if not silent running (Sean Connery fans will know what I mean)
It's been interview week with hopefuls passing through the offices aspiring to be managers, senior or support workers and me getting a grilling from the trustees into the bargain just to make sure they think I am up to it. Hopefuls are coming up for second interviews next week so I will not reveal any secrets just yet.
Last week was a lot about sheep and they have featured this week as well. The sheep have gone full circle around the reservoir and are back on the banks closest to the road where I can watch whilst I sit in the traffic jam. Lots of sheep (and lambs) create lots of poo and lots of beetles and things like to live in lots of poo so it was really great to watch a hawk (may have been a Hobby) hunting across the banks and obviously making a very good breakfast and still at it in the evening when I sat in a traffic jam going the other way. I could have sat in a traffic jam on the motorway but the views are not nearly so entertaining.
I think I am probably in disgrace. Whilst I was watering the garden this evening the little boy who lives next door (6 next week we think) popped his head over the fence and received a face full of cold water. No tears but he definitely isn't talking to me at the moment.

More Sheep and a Bishop

Yes the sheep are back on the reserve again and have already made great inroads into the sedge. They look very smart with their recently clipped fleeces. Several have chocolate brown legs and underbellies which I have not noticed before so maybe this is a new flock. Other events to note include sight of a hawk (I don't think it was a kestrel) quartering the grass banks by the King George reservoir. Again both sheep and men have kept this relatively short so there is probably good hunting and not a lot of cover for all the little things that go to make lunch for a hungry hawk
I am still using Jet Ski Boy and Bodybuilder's cars to travel to and from work to keep the batteries topped up and the engines ticking over but then comes the day of reckoning when it seems that I have to fill all three of them up with petrol in the space of a week!
Jetski Boy goes off on holiday in a few weeks time so we are looking forward to some piece and quiet although I do have to admit that he is not much trouble really. He went out with friends last night and then tried to sneak back in this morning when I was out walking Hugh at around 8.00 am - don't tell him I noticed - he still thinks he got away with it (whatever IT was)
We are still chasing the sun for a break this autumn but "we want to go away at the end of September" and "late breaks" don't seem to fit easily in the same sentence. I think we may just have to be patient and wait until well into August before trying to pick up the elusive deal to find cheap sun. Funny how all the friends you used to know who have a little place just off the Costa del......... don't seem to be answering the phone at the moment.
Plans for the big event in the Spring are coming together and the group of 8 - G8 - are getting quite excited. I did find an excuse to go and see the travel agent for the fifth consecutive Saturday and now people are really begining to talk. The NEEDLE is now the big issue. Hepatitis A and B, Tetanus and Typhoid all come recommended but not demanded so now the decisions have to be made. Prudence would say get them done whilst pragmatism, economy and fear all say it will be OK. Prudence was never my favourite anyway.
Women Bishops eh! Talked about the whole issue in housegroup this week and to my surprise everyone came out against them. Not as it transpires for deeply scriptural reasons, more along the lines of tradition and comfort and perception of the leader/elder role. Does it mean that if you give your confession to a WB that it will be all round the diocese by the end of the day or is that just stereotyping? Personally I have no issue either with the principle nor the practice and have worked well with several female clergy to say nothing of having a Mother Superior in the family. t seems to me that we still have a difficult time to live through during which there may well be some appointments of people who are women first and potential bishops second rather than the right people be consecrated who happen to be women. Time will come as more and more very good female clergy come up through the system. Since Mrs Claus came up through Methodism where female clergy have long played a very significant role this should not be an issue for me. In addition I have regularly worked in a wet capacity with a Salvation Army major who also happens to be a great lady.
Watch this space for more great debates in weeks to come - Caz, still no response, beginning to think you are ignoring me

Wimbledon 2008

Two sets down and serving to save match point on Centre Court so not really worth queuing to see the final death throes of British tennis so we packed up our picnic, rubbed our sunburn and headed for the long walk back to the station. How wrong can you be! We will probably never live down not going up to see Murray complete his comeback of all time. I just have to console myself with the thought that he is not really British, only Scottish. Have you noticed how we appropriate people who we are quite content to let keep their specific nationality until they begin to succeed and then they become "British". And how little we heard of his younger brother who only WON a WIMBLEDON TITLE last year!
That said, we had a great day and watched the Williams sisters in spades if I am allowed to say such a thing. First venus, tall, deceptive and powerful in an entertaining match against Kleybanova where the young Russian acquited herself very well. Then Serena, power and designer frills to crush poor Bethanie Mattek. Then after a quick sausage roll (£1.80) and a cornish pasty (£2,00) and Orange Fanta (£ lots) back to watch them do it all over again to a pair of Spanish ladies watched by a reporter from Spanish radio who as far as I could see was more interested in chatting up the ball boys and topping up her tan than saying anything into her microphone.
But the joy of the day was Tipsaravic or Tipsi as the crowd named him. Very entertaining tennis and lots of "entertainment" too. Having seen Venus get an obscenity violation warning, his outburst at the umpire was masterly "You ... you.... oh I have no word for you" followed a few games later by "What is it with you........ why do I always end up with you" Great shame he was knocked out by Schuettler, I think he would have been a very entertaining player to have watched through the rest of the tournament. All in all we had a very good day of tennis and Andy Murray not withstanding I wouldn't have swapped it for any other match except perhaps Nadal or Baghdatis which must have been a humdinger of a game.
Our last outing for the forseeable future but hey two posts in one week what more do you want?
Oh and by the way thanks Carol for reading, I sometimes wonder if you are an audience of one, even your namesake seems to have stopped responding - come on caz at googlemail talk to me

So much time, so little posted

That could be the message about work at the moment as we are in the middle of a recruitment programme for a new Centre Manager and to date, despite a wicked job description, fab salary and a rotten boss there have been no takers. Still if anyone out there fancies taking the risk then leave me a comment and I will send you an application (how about it little mouse?)
Work is tough at the moment as we are losing staff faster than I can recruit them and the trustees have called a secret meeting without me. Do I smell the whiff of conspiracy?
There have been good things too. We went to our local RSPB reserve during the week with lots of exciting sightings although sadly not the avocets the recent newsletter promised. The solitary egret has now become three or four egrets and a wonderful display from two herons. Then up the motorway for 100 miles to Snape and Aldburgh for a look at the sea and a concert of solo cello music. Great soloist who I think must have had a nip of something at half time as the later session was far more animated than the first. Interesting cello with no stand but supported between the musician's legs. Very odd posturebut I was assured by the verbose lady sitting behind us that it gives a much more authentic sound.
I am fighting the photocopier wars at the moment. My predecessor stitched us up with a 5 year contract at £2,700 a quarter but with 100% discount in the first two years. Just that he didn't tell anyone about the remaining three years which will now cost me a fortune so I went shopping elsewhere and looked to have got a much better deal with some other nice people from Japan. Then the bombshell from supplier number 1, no way to terminat the contract without paying off the remaining 12 quarters plus vat in advance. the odd £40k I do not surprisingly have lying around in the office so back to my nice new Japanese friends who tell me they will see what they can do - they are that desperate for my business- so we will see what kind of goodies next week brings. Those nice people from the Bank of Cyprus want to give me (well the charity actually) a cheque for £900 as well just for being their friend, oh and dumping a great big fixed term deposit in their laps.
Went to a seminar on the Mental Capacity Act - very worrying consequences, usually you find out you should have done something about the legalities the day someone else officially declares that your marbles are out to lunch. So off to your friendly local solicitor and get powers of attorney, forged signatures and anything else you can think of all sorted now. Go on you know it makes sense! When your kids have spent every penny you ever had and then some you will really appreciate from the depths of your leaky hovel at the bottom of the garden, the legal advice you received at the time.
Then there was the trip to Bethnal Green for a seminar imaginatively called "planning for the future" which obviously received such overwhelming support that it was cancelled but no one built into the planning mechanism a means of telling the people who had booked. With due respect to its residents, who I am sure are really nice people, it is not one of the places I would put at in my top ten tourist destinations. As you know from previous posts we like to travel. For Mrs Claus I suppose her top destination would have to be Portugal and for me, maybe Kenya although it is very far removed from the country we visited in the late 70s and early 80s.
For those of you who follow such things avidly I can report that despite repairs to the roof the pigeon is still sliding off the bird table much to the pleasure of the other birds that hang around in the grass underneath to pick up the debris.
No real excitement to report then, it's almost as good as a day in Ambridge isn't it?

Anyone seen my llama?

No not the one from Tibet. There is a farm in Sewardstone where for a small fee you can take a llama for a walk whilst looking across the King George reserviors taking in the vista of the Gherkin, Canary Wharf and Nat West Tower. On a sunny day as you crest the rise (like this morning at 7.30 just before I arrived at work) it was quite ethereal with the mist lifting off the water and the llama looking over the fence. Less prosaic are the signs offering "well rotted manure £1.20 a bag)
Enough sight seeing for one morning. My honeymoon at work has come to a fairly abrupt end with my senior manager and one project manager having resigned in the last couple of weeks. They will leave a big hole in the organisation and their skills will be difficult to replace.
Would you believe we are still eating part leftovers. Each meal is a trip into the unknown (well the freezer actually). Because all the bags are iced up we don't know what we have pulled out of the drawer until we cook it. All I know is that they still taste great although you do have to be careful with the chilli. Mrs Claus is still enjoying all the wine that is open.
Jetski boy is taking a break from college at the moment as his is a "vocational" course with no AS levels to take this year. If however there were AS levels in Grand Theft Auto 4 or Halo or similar I am sure he would be at university standard by the end of the week. He went to see Indiana Jones last week but wouldn't take his old Dad so I either have to find an excuse to take someone else or wait for the DVD. If my experience with No Country for Old Men is anything to go by, by the time the DVD comes out I will have lost interest. That said the new Narnia film is due out later this month and I really would like to see that. I saw the first one with little mouse (any offers to let me take you?).
Weight lifter on water is still in hospital and feeling very sorry for himself after all this time and gets very frustrated at so little happenng.
The birds in the garden have increased quite significantly in number over the last couple of months, partly due to all the new bird feeders I had for Christmas. We have two resident wood pigeons who patrol the lawn and have even been known to stand their ground against Hugh. One of them has learned how to get under the roof of the small birdtable which looks very comical. However they are not my favourite residents at the moment as they appear to have eaten all the runner bean seedlings I planted out whilst the slugs have gleefully done for the tomatoes. If there was a simple and palatable recipe for slugs I could eat for a week (only kidding - I don't want to know even if there is one)
Last week was more expensive than I could possibly have imagined. My car has been a bit noisy when slowing down so I took it to the garage to have the brakes checked - they worked alright, just a bit noisy. Well the reason for the noise was that the discs and pads were just about disintegrating - so lots of money to replace them. The next day weightlifter's car goes in for service and MOT. An even bigger bill and it is not even my car. There is an upside to having three cars in the family at the moment but the downside definitely appears to be that I get to pay all the bills.
So the Americans have decided they are not yet ready for a woman president, or maybe they decided they will never be ready for another Clinton. I wonder what Monica thinks - maybe she was expecting to get her old job back. So now we have a race between a man who looks as if he wants to drive an F1 car and someone who sells microwave chips - is that right?
I am sure the hidden bigot in me is just dying to find other things to be cryptic about but my monthly bath awaits. So enjoy my ramblings and I will return clean in body if not in mind

Where have all the blogs gone?

Back again - but you should have been able to read an interim message but I regret my last posting appears to have disappeared into the blogosphere without a trace. I am sure it was most interesting but I am not going through it all again so you will just have to imagine it.
Really we should have taken a leaf from Bilbo Baggins' book and put a notice on the door "no admittance except on party business"
Yesterday was the big day - well technically Tuesday is the big day - our anniversary party. 30 years married and if I had a bottle of champagne for everyone who said "you get less for murder" I could open my own off licence. The week leading up to the day was beautiful and sunny, although getting colder and today has been sunny and quite warm, but yesterday it chucked it d0wn all day! 60 odd (and not so odd) friends all being friendly in a three bedroom semi was very cosy. Add that to a caterer lady who seemed to think that feeding the 5,000 was an afternoon job. The food was wonderful and very plentiful and everyone had plenty to drink as well. ~So if you came, thank you for making it such a wonderful day. If you didn't come you will never know what you missed and if you were invited and didn't come and even worse didn't bother to tell us you weren't coming shame on you and what a party you missed. Thank you to everyone who attempted the quiz. For anyone interested the correct answers are below.

30th Anniversary Holiday Quiz

Year
Holiday Clues
Answers

1978
A Bonny Honeymoon
Ø Scotland
1979
Up a Snowy Mountain and Down to See the Queen
Ø Scotland
1980
To see a Dipper and a Mole
Ø UK Derbyshire Dales
1981
Missionaries in the White Highlands
Ø Kenya
1982
Sparkling Dales to “Ecky Thump”
Ø Derbyshire Dales
Ø Yorkshire Dales
1983
Spice and Temples and a Little Bother Over Currency
Ø Sri Lanka
1984
The White Peak
Ø Derbyshire Dales
1985
“Top of the Morning to You”
Ø Ireland
1986
A Land of Pilgrimage
Ø Israel
1987
Clotted Cream and Red Sandstone Cliffs
Ø Devon
1988
Missionaries with a Yellow Bird
And to Drive a Lada
Ø Tenerife
Ø Bulgaria
1989
Freebie to Oura
With a Friend to see Mickey
Ø Portugal
Ø USA Florida
1990
To a Lake then
North to Shields
Find A&E on a cliff top
Ø UK Lake District
Ø UK Northumberland
Ø Portugal
1991
Boats with an Eye on the Prow and Lots of Sardines
Ø Portugal
1992
Round the World in 49 days
To see Godparents and a Golden Bridge
Fire Walking Round my Car
Bonza Trip
The Vicar Would be at Home
Not Quite China but they Speak Portuguese

Ø USA California
Ø Fiji
Ø Australia
Ø Hong Kong
Ø Macao
1993
Could Get Pottery Here
Ø UK Staffordshire
1994
Silves is best
Ø Portugal
1995
‘Allo Allo’ on a Golf Course with Mickey too
Ø France
1996
Uncle Sam without Mickey
Up Monchique
Ø USA New York and Boston
Ø Portugal
1997
Ole
Ø Spain
1998
Foia but not Gras
Best of Pyramid Selling
Ø Portugal
Ø Egypt
1999
NOWHERE
Boo Hoo!
2000
Not Too Faro Now
Land of the Rainy Leek
Ø Portugal
Ø Wales
2001
To the Cross of St John
Ø Malta
2002
Mickey Again with Oranges
Caravan on a Cliff
Ø USA Florida
Ø UK Dorset
2003
Another Caravan on a Cliff
Who’s that Geezer
Ø UK Dorset
Ø Iceland
2004
Alvor with Another Hospital
Ø Portugal
2005
St Paul Woz Ere
Ø Cyprus
2006
Give you a clue to start
Ø Lanzarotte
2007
What is a Paragem?
Ø Portugal

Sorry about the formatting but that seems to be the way it has copied across. Well done Addel and the team for getting 26 right even though you don't know us very well. Amazing what a little help and inspired guesswork can achieve.
Very little news otherwise, most of our efforts having been tied up with the party. Back to reality now, although as Marvin says "I think you will find it is reality that's on the blink"

Swallows have a home

Regular readers will be pleased to know that the swallows are happily building their mud nests under the eaves of the new properties. Whether they will be well received by the new owners remains to be seen but my argument is that the swallows were there first. They should be thankful that mud is in such plentiful supply at the moment! If they are clever they may even be able to mix it with a little cement dust and have a permanent des. res. for next year. Bank holiday weekend and I am joining the rest of the British populous in giving the garden a bit of TLC. Amazing what a difference cutting the grass and trimming the edges makes. There are still several clumps of long grass, not kept out of any loyalty to our invertebrate neighbours but simply to preserve the violets until they have finished flowering. The flowering cherry is past its best, not helped by the tremendous rain of the last few days. The tree peony is doing very well though and is full of bright yellow flowers. Last weekend's mistake was to invest in a lot of bedding plants that I knew I didn't have time to plant out so each evening their pots have needed emptying if the poor things are not to drown. Hope to have the rested planted out by Monday, but Monday being a bank holiday we shall be entertaining perpetual student as has become our custom since before the boys were born.
It seems the weeks are full of endless paperwork and time taken visiting body builder a couple of evenings each week so there is really very little earth shattering news.
Barmy Boris of course won which brings a little jollity to the future of London politics. As I may have mentioned he launched his mayoral campaign from the community hall beneath my office, Edmonton having surpassed Brixton as the knife crime centre of the capital. Not phased by a "vote Ken" poster put up by the landlord he must be made of stern stuff.
Will post again when there is news, time or even both and if little mouse is out there reading please get in touch I miss you !!

Java makes life difficult

Just when I was ready to get back to blogging my sign in is blocked because all my Java privacy settings have changed. Did I do this???? I rather think not! so what little electronic gremlins have been active behind my back, or even behind my screen in the last couple of weeks.
Java notwithstanding, life just doesn't seem to get any simpler. This is of course not helped by giving my keyboard a bath in red wine the other week which has disabled half the keys. I am currently using a recycled one with "power" and "wake" keys where I am used to seeing "delete" and other friendly commands. The backspace button (which I use a lot for subliminal corrections) is also far smaller than usual and in the wrong place. To make things even more annoying, "power, sleep and wake" have absolutely no effect at all when I press them. All the F keys have pretty pictures on them which makes life even more confusing when I had got used to F5 and F8 doing things that I wanted. Come to think of it F8 was a stop on my old 35mm camera but in this digital age no doubt I have few readers who know what I am talking about. Not only did I know where I was with F8 and F11 and on really sunny days F16, on this particular camera they were also all in Russian.
Body Builder continues in hospital and shows no immediate signs of coming home. One consolation is that I get to drive his care once a week to keep the battery charged up. Big throaty exhaust and a sub in the boot if you know what I mean. It likes Pink Floyd best with a meaty base line, particularly Dark Side of the Moon. Classic FM sounds very odd but I understand I have to change the balance to improve that and I would't dare fiddle with any of those controls. It was difficult enough getting Radio 4 (John Humphreys comes over quite well) and Classic FM on the pre-sets.
Nature notes include the first swallows returning to the Chase but since the barn where they nested has been demolished I am not sure how they will fare from now on. Also whitethroats and chiff-chaff this morning together with the heron having a crafty breakfast in the angling club's lake - I wonder if he has paid his subs!
Flurry of birthdays this month including mine, we are all getting older. As one said to me this morning "we are both older but I don't know that we are any wiser" which she followed up gleefully with comments that neither of us are as old as her husband. Don't know what she means at all.
No real news what with tribunals and hospital visits. I have a patio full of bedding plants waiting for time and the rain to stop. The tree peony is full of yellow blooms just waiting to break. It is also currently full of the bird table which it has overgrown but the birds don't seem to mind. We have two bird tables, both with apex rooves, one fixed to a pole (and disappearing into the tree peony) and the other hanging. The pigeon squeezes into the fixed one and eats his fill, usually watched by a collared dove that sits on the roof but can't work out how to get in. Then the pigeon moves to the hanging table. When he lands on the side it promptly tips up and he falls off. Since all the seed falls with him he seems perfectly happy to peck it up out of the grass

Back in the land of the living

Welcome back to me!!!! and thanks for your patience waiting all these weeks for news. The crisis is not exactly over but I suppose it is getting to manageable proportions so at least we have a few moments to sit back and take stock. This update would have been at least an hour earlier if I hadn't spilt wine over the keyboard rendering it not only sticky but non-operational. Fortunately an old one dragged out of the loft seems to be working OK.

Body Builder is still in hospital but has now been moved to a new ward in Hackney, away from the hospital in Goodmayes. That makes travelling no easier as I am not brave enough to drive there yet and so we go on public transport. Good news, necessity being the mother of invention, Mrs Claus has overcome her claustrophobia enough to go on the Tube. Body Builder is not desperately happy about the move or the thought of staying in hospital for an extended period of time but we just hope it will all be for the best.

Jetski boy fortunately seems to take it in his stride and is getting quite used to freedom of access to TV and the shower! He doesn't think much to hospital visiting so will probably not be joining us often.

Bodybuilder has a great group of friends and we have been really grateful to them for their support and regular visits and now they are preparing to tackle to Hackney journey as well.

Work is also chaotic for me at the moment, I think I am beginning to understand what the big (well relatively big) bucks are for. Nothing that £1m wouldn't sort out but unfortunately no one seems to be offering at the moment.

Things are also conspiring against me in the garden as well, every time I think seriously about getting out and doing things it either rains or snows - that's my excuse anyway and since we are still getting hard morning frosts that is a good excuse not to put out any bedding plants yet. Maybe I will have to buy plastic ones for the big party!

Life does get confusing when I drive to work. Some days I take my car - easy. Some days I take Body Builder's car - very sexy and big sound system but for some reason it is only returning 20 miles to the gallon and sometimes I take mine, which could be Mrs Claus' but in reality will be JetSki Boy's when he is old enough - goes OK, has no radio and only 4 gears. The point being that when I get back to the car park I need to remember which car I am looking for

NEWS - Bonking Boris decided to launch is mayoral campaign from the Community Centre beneath our offices. Boris and "Call me Dave" much in evidence talking to lots of people but not us. I am told that if you watched the South East news that night you would have seen an interview with them both with me hanging out of the window above them trying to get a picture. The reason for all this? - it had just been announced that Edmonton had surpassed Brixton (where he was going to launch) as having the highest murder rate in the capital for the last 6 months - great place to work - and they added one more to the tally whilst he was speaking, just to make sure he got the point

Mrs Claus' Mum fell and broke her wrist at the begining of the week so she is feeling very poorly.
Fortunately Security Driver brother (who is brilliant) was on hand to help and spent pretty much the whole day in the hospital. Police Inspector "don't mess with me" sister is going up tomorrow to stay for a few days until revised care packages etc. are sorted out.

We have church friends in South Africa on a mission at the moment, very exciting and lots of things going on. Two of the party had never flown before so that was a great adventure for them to start with. One "you ought to sue somebody" was so worked up about it he nearly didn't need a plane to fly at all. If you are that way inclined please pray for them for the next couple of weeks

Now I am back in the groove I hope my contributions to your education and enlightenment will be more regular again

Don't give up on us - life at crisis point at the moment. There is good news and there is bad news, very bad news so please be patient and some if not all will be revealed in the a few days

thanks for caring and talk to you soon

Sorry I've been away

So much has happened since we last communicated it is difficult to know where to begin. It all started two Sundays ago when I had a phone call from Mrs Claus' Mum to say that her Dad had sadly died earlier that evening. As you can imagine our lives have been in a certain amount of turmoil since, arranging the funeral, letting people know and trying to make sure that her Mum had all the support she needs to carry on. Friends and neighbours have been wonderful with lots of support and good wishes and constant deliveries of flowers and cards. Mrs Claus, her sister and I went to see Dad in the chapel of rest - he looked very serene in his gown with a little smile playing around his lips.The funeral was very peaceful, a celebration of a long Christian life followed by a short ceremony at the New Sherwood Crematorium, run on eco-friendly lines. The floral tributes were wonderful.
At the small gathering after the funeral my mobile went off advising me of an alleged assault by one of my staff on a service user so the following morning was straight back down the A1 and into a round of evidence collecting and disciplinary hearings. I am pleased to say that we found the allegation unfounded.
The role of an executor is a fairly thankless task and fortunately there are no major complications but that still doesn't prevent the current tally of active files running at about 30 with correspondence and phone calls to match.
We hope to keep the car in the family and it could well become a learner buggy before the end of the month
March was set to be a very wet month with three Halliwick courses but they have had to be set to one side. I was covered for one last week but may run to North London this weekend as there are other complications with the team
Hugh came with us on our last trip north and enjoyed a new range of smells across the fields. Not us pungent as the muck spreading we encountered a couple of years ago but interesting enough if you are a dog. He was very well behaved at the lake we walked around and just woofed half heartedly at the ducks and geese
As you can imagine I don't feel like a long post tonight so will catch up with news in a couple of days

To sleep, perchance to drown

I fell asleep in the bath last night. I am not sure what that said about the week I have just had which was actually quite a good one. I had a very good session with one of our partner organisations sorting out the legalities of all our arrangements and getting them in writing and signed, a first for everyone. Not so successful with the local authority who are still trying to do us down at every turn. We opened a brand new service at their insistence on which they had received full costings and given verbal agreement. Now that commitments have been made to all the service users they have told us that we will only get two thirds the amount discussed and unearthed some correspondence dated 2006 which they say constitutes the basis of an agreement. We could just withdraw the service but that would not be fair on our clients who after all are the reason we exist in the first place.
Lots of movement on the bird front this morning including a warbler that remained completely unidentifiable beyond that. Blue tits on the birdtable and startlings and sparrows on the nut feeders so we still have some very confused feathered friends.

Skylarks

Another ornithological note from this morning. A very heavy frost and the peregrine flapped lazily from fence post to tree top, not warm enough to hunt and not happy at being disturbed. All the usual suspects like woodpeckers in full breeding plumage, but the really excitiing thing was the first skylarks displaying over the open meadow.
A lot of early golfers out this morning which was a surprise considering the heavy frost, I am surprised they could see their balls, if you see what I mean. We passed one looking hopefully along the banks of the stream but I think we both knew it had landed in the water. "Morning, bit early for a paddle" I greeted him - the reply was not particularly polite.
Returning home the garden is in a state of some confusion. There was a thrush on the patio clearing up some breadcrumbs thrown from the kitchen door whilst collared doves and blackbirds hunted for grain in the long grass. Blue tits taking crusts from the birdtable and starlings on the nut feeder, now that's not the way I understood it was supposed to be.
Much excitement last night. Mrs Claus rang from work to say the boss had not arrived and would I go and look for him. Boss is an unusual person to say the least and it was not beyond the bounds of possiblity that he may have had an altercation on the bus or some other problem. Casualty, police, house or the other way around. I chose the house first and found that he had overslept so no major harm done except to his work record.
I learnt a new skill this week. It sounds silly but I had never used one of those air pumps at petrol stations to pump up my tyres. One very soft tyre and two broken foot pumps (funny how the bits mysteriously disappear) left me with little choice. Son number one (bodybuilder) agreed to come with me to show me how it was done. Shell broken, BP massive queue so we ended up going along the 127 until we found a working one. PSI or bar? The machine was labelled in PSI and the car manual in BAR but fortunately the machine had a handy little converter. That just leaves the carwash to be a first but I really can't justify the expense when a bucket, sponge and leather will achieve the desired result for minimal outlay. That said, regular readers will know my record on car washing is about as good as a pig farmer and his tractor.
The answer might still be 42 but scrabble sets made out of bits of rock notwithstanding I still don't know the question. Others who know where I am coming from will know that multiples of 7 and 40 are critical but steer clear of 6

The peregrine is back

Yes that's right. It has moved to a new copse and now hunts closer to the golf course. The kestrel has moved further up the hill and can now regularly be seen hovering over the motorway verges as well as coming back into the conservation area.Today (Mrs Claus' birthday) we went to the new RSPB reserve at Rainham Marshes. A bright sunny day with a clear blue sky and a biting wind we had a very enjoyable morning in this new conservatin area. Lots of lapwing (2,000+ the warden said) and lots of ducks including Shelduck, possible Scaup and maybe a Shoveler but the glasses were not powerful enough (or were they just too far away) to claim positive identification. Another Little Egret fishing on the banks but no heron even though we hunted high and low. There was a surpising lack of wading birds, I would have thought the territory ideal for Curlew etc.When we went down onto the banks of the Thames later there were none to be identified there either even though the mud flats were exposed at low tide.Lunch at the Dog and Partridge - to be recommended but steer clear of the pickled onion! - and then to Tilbury Fort and a walk along the river path looking over to Gravesend.A very pleasant day as long as you don't think what the stock market is doing and whether we will end up paying the pension company rather then them paying us post 65. I have just rewritten our staff policy on mandatory retirement. The new law makes quite interesting reading.We have been looking back over the diaries to think of some questions for a fun quiz when we have our open house. No I am not telling you when, or where, or why - those who get an invitatio will know and those who don't (deliberately or failure of post) will have to wait to read about it later. We thought some of the questions might be linked to specific years and our holiday destinations. It came as a shock to count up that we have been to 21 countries (including the Principalities) since we got married and the boys have clocked up 4 more that we haven't been to - no expensive cultural trips in our day, a trip to a chalk quarry near Guildford for a geology field trip was about as good as it got. I seem to remember we went to St Albans once, got soaked to the skin and spent the rest of the day dripping inside the coach until it was time to go home. So you might want to ask a few leading questions about holidays next time we meet.I am sure there is more news but this is probably enough to be going on with

Clean again

After several months of good intentions and around 4,000 miles the car finally got a wash yesterday. I had almost forgotten what colour it was underneath all that mud. It is so embarrasing when you sit for hours in a queue of traffic and people looking at you must think "what a filthy car, doesn't he have time to wash it?" Well yes, I do have time but I fill it up with other things like contemplating the garden or looking for pigeons. When I cleaned the bird tables yesterday I threw the old grain onto the lawn, brushed down the tables and added fresh. This morning there were four pigeons marching across the line in parallel fashion, just as if they were on parade. They were joined by a small flock of starlings Every so often the head of a house sparrow would bob up in the grass. I keep it long because the books say it shakes off the snow much better that way. The snow must have taken one look at my long grass this week and decided to stay further north. Apologies to those who wanted to go sledging but I am sure all those commuting in London will thank me. Come to think of it "sledging" is the term they use for a particular kind of verbal abuse in Australian cricket so you should be ashamed of yourselves. For cricketing fans out there I am sure you will have noticed that the Australians can dish it out but they can't take it.

This morning's walk with Hugh saw us both lightly dressed as the forecast was for an increase in temperature and winds from the South. Well, I think it must have come direct from the South Pole, it was certainly cold enough. To warm up we had a romp with Bonnie and the whippets (that well known Havering pop group). Still no sign of the Peregrine but the Kestrel played catch me if you can, flying from tree to tree.

Spring is here, which means we will get a few sunny days before the icy wind and frost burns back any new growth. The katkins on the hazel are full of pollen and the pussy willow buds just beginning to break open. A lovely green woodpecker this morning with blazing red head markings who scuttled round the other side of the tree trunk as soon as I got the binoculars focused.

To CazChambers - thank you for your comments. Sorry to hear you are still "icky". Have you ever thought that chocolate might be the cause?? Hope R feels better soon, in plenty of time to give you everything you want for Mothers' Day

Friends

A long conversation with a special friend really cheered Friday up. We haven't seen each other for ages, so it was good to talk, about the bad things as well as the good. That's really what friends are for, to help you celebrate the good and to help you share the load when the going gets tough, or as usual, life just isn't fair, or simply to put you back on the right path when you've lost your focus or your sense.
I like having friends (many of you will be reading this and thinking - does he mean me?) - well yes the answer is I do. And if my readership expands out there in the blogsphere then I hope that they may become virtual friends through the comments page. Thanks by the way to those of you who have left comments. It's nice to know that I am not just on my own in a virtual void.
And just in case you misunderstood the bit above, it means I am happy to see the number of my friends expand, not my friends expand. The post Christmas and pre Lent period is really very short this year so no sooner have we stuffed all the left over bits from Christmas (still got an unopened box of shortbreads although the tin of Quality Street that was going into temporary storage has now gone into the boys) before we hit that manic - must have lots of what I am going to give up for Lent before I give it up for Lent. I know one for whom the craving for a chocolate egg by 00.01 on Easter morning is almost debilitating.
So, if you are thinking of things that need to go on the shopping list, I hope this has been a timely reminder that Shrove Tuesday (alright Pancake Day) is only a couple of weeks away.
Bird Tables
Christmas was very RSPB last year with two new bird tables, several hanging feeders and lots of birdie goodies since which time the healthy population of garden birds upped and offed never to be seen again. And then this morning a bird on the bird table!!!!! A pigeon had become wedged under the roof of the roofed table on the patio. It didn't seem to mind, even when another pigeon came and sat on the roof, and eventually squeezed out and flew off. Now that the trend is set I hope we can go back to lots of avian visitors.

Erratum

Heath, Keith, what's in a name - apologies to those with susceptible sensibilities around such things

Keith Ledger

So, Keith Ledger died yesterday and there are already over 500 in memoriam posts on Facebook. Not that I am unsympathetic or anything but I never did see Broke Back Mountain, nor have I any intention of doing so and I am unlikely to see the next Batman movie (well until the Christmas 2010 repeats anyway), so I fear, sad though it may be his passing is not likely to mean much to me.
Of much more importance was Spurs' stuffing of Arsenal last night. There had to be some justification for me sitting in a traffic jam for over an hour waiting to reach a road that the police promptly closed so that a 7 mile journey to Archway involved a diversion via Shoreditch and took over two hours! Even then I couldn't get into the university car park and had to abandon the car in a resident's only bay and trust that the police were busy watching the football. Am I the only one to find that bits of London move on dark wet nights and turn up in places you weren't expecting them just to try and get you lost? Spurs in the Carling Cup final, Palace in the play off zone and United topping the league, most of the family will be happy.
I have temporarily given up listening to Radio 4 as the news about the FTSE just makes me want to cry. 20% wiped off the family savings, pension plan in freefall (along with everyone else). I guess this is the government's answer to the baby boom and the looming pensions crisis. Make sure that we all remain economically dependant and have to continue working to 75 or even 80 and then conveniently drop dead to ease the burden on the NHS. Maybe I should invest in shares in funeral directors next time.

the story continues

If I thought the new job was too easy, I think I now know why. I was waiting for someone to tell me what I wasn't doing and what I should be doing and now they have! Nothing insurmountable or irretrievable but from now on I think my days are going to be more than full. That also encourages me to try to be a bit more disciplined about the blog so news should be more regular.
It always makes church interesting when the vicar announces he has had a crisis of faith (he was after all preaching on faith) but thankfully the emphasis was on HAD so he was able to share how he came through and the lessons for all in that process. A stirring and emotional sermon that will stay with us for a long time I am sure.
So what else has been happening in the electronic world of FabAl and his diaries?
Hugh (he's the one with four legs) is fully recovered from his surgery and back to his bouncy ways and streaking across the fields in pursuit of other dogs, rooks, seagulls, the occasional rabbit and his imagination. The egret has returned to the stream that runs along to boundary with the golf course and the peregrine is becoming more habituated to walkers although he still keeps just enough distance to ensure you never get quite the look at him that you want. It is to be hoped that skylarks will soon be in evidence again but the very waterlogged ground must be bad for them.
Talking of being water logged, the journey to work has been interesting over the last few days with the road flooded in several places and a broken water main in Sewardstone Road just for good measure.
The good news is that we now have a shower that works rather than trickles. Mr Plumber at B&Q was most helpful as opposed to Homebase "If you can't see it we don't sell it". The shower works so well that Tim managed to flood the bathroom floor to wading depth before coming down and telling everyone "the shower works". Clearing up doesn't seem to appear in his list of accredited skills.
Saturday also brought a trip to the dump. Very cathartic - until you rember just why you were keeping that thingumyjig in the first place. We are not a particularly IT literate house so I am not sure how three pc's managed to be included in the recylcing.
Speaking of which, Joanna now has a new second hand (if you see what I mean) pc and is live on the internet in her own right. No I am not going to give you her address just in case you sell it to 1 million mail order and direct advertising companies. I get quite enough viagra and Nigerian investment opportunities for both of us
Despite having so much to say, news is in short supply so that is it for this post but do keeping looking and something interesting may just turn up over the next few weeks
PS if anyone is any good at spreadsheets, particularly a sequence of seven linked spreadsheets with up to 90 formulae to each sheet please get in touch (illeterate of Edmonton)

Hello and welcome back

"Or thanks for all the fish"
A couple of days have passed, one of which I remember. I regret that yesterday it was all I could do to struggle out of bed to watch St Trinians again. Did the boys notice that Dad was still in his pyjamas at 6.00pm - did they heck (and before you ask, no that is not my normal evening wear)
Better today so struggled into work - traffic being the cause of the trouble rather than health. The Christmas present of all the road works healing up seems to have been replaced by a rash of new and bigger ones everywhere. I went to work to attend a meeting that when I arrived they told me was cancelled but I did get quite a lot done including mending the photocopier so I suppose it was all worthwhile.
If you think this is rivetting wait until I run out of interesting things to say
enjoy

Intro

This is the first effort in a bid to become technically literate and relevant in the brave new world of technology - watch this space it may well be the last- Despite being introduced by a good friend I can't make my facebook work and Friends United scares the living daylights out of me - so many "friends" who have done so well - its embarrassing.
So where does this all get me - new year, new job and the only resolution so far is to stop being rude to the vicar (and yes on day 6 I have still kept it up)
The dog (Hugh) is out of surgery, Joanna is contemplating a second visit to A&E this year and the boys are in bed. I am told that any attempt to wake them before 1 o'clock counts as sleep deprivation under the Geneva Convention and interferes with their human rights. Whatever happened to parents' rights I wonder.
It is a beautiful sunny day outside and I am indoors trying to be hip in a new pair of shoes that are nothing more than vanity exemplified but I expect I will get used to them
So what can you expect from this site?
Occasional diary notes and jottings, long periods of silence when i just can't be bothered or have forgotten how to find my own blog in the first place and just sometimes a pearl of wisdom that I know will benefit the whole of mankind
Joanna's coffee and Hugh's lunch now take priority so you will have to watch this space - perhaps for a long time - for any updates and even then you may not find it interesting but you will just have to persevere and who knows, one day you might be surprised, or even find yourself featuring in these pages.
Daily mail readers please note, Liz Jones I am not so don't expect vitriol or titilation