Hamilton vs Obama???

A morning spent rolling around semi naked on a couch covered in jelly might sound like someone's idea of fun (possibly my idea of fun) but not on a Tuesday morning with a bursting bladder. Have you ever tried drinking 4 pints of water and then sitting in a car for three quarters of an hour followed by another 20 minutes in the waiting room - yes the NHS still keep you waiting even if ever so politely? Having established that I really, desperately needed to see the doctor NOW I was ushered into the surgery whereupon he began a lengthy introduction about who he was, why I was there and what was going to happen. With everything crossed so tightly that I seriously began to wonder whether I would ever be untangled again I managed to convey that I was quite anxious to get on with the matter in hand rather than squirm in idle chit chat. Of course he and the nurse quite understood but first there was the slight matter of coating me in jelly and prodding me in exquisitley painful places with an ultrasound scanner until they realised they were in iminent danger of the surgery being flooded. I was then introduced to THE FUNNEL which frankly is every little boy's dream - something you can wee into as hard as you can for as long as you can. I scored 465 @ 16 which I was told was very good. To those who cannot go on living without knowing the answer that is 465ml of urine discharged at a rate of 16ml/second and there is a bonus point for the look of relief at the end of the proceedings. "Did I feel better?", "did I feel that I was fully emptied?" - well yes was the answer until he went poking around with his scanner again and putting quite a lot of pressure on places that are not used to having pressure put upon them. The truthful answer - I was far from empty but a lot more comfortable than I was, so off to the funnel again. This time not quite such a mad dash with trousers roughly hoisted around my waist, which is just as well since the "little room" was the other side of the waiting room. "Had I had my kidneys checked through the back passage?" well that was about to change but let me advise you not to put it high on your list of 100 things I want to do before I die.
The average bladder is capable of holding 2 litres plus so my 465 ml was little more than a drop in the ocean but the remainder made it's presence very plain as I drove back to work. There are NO public toilets between the surgery and the office (a journey of approximately one and a half hours) and only a limited number of farm gates that are not overlooked by curious passers by or the odd cow.
As for Lewis - WELL DONE sir although I suspect it is only a matter of time before Brazilian conspiracy theorists start suggesting that Bloch is in the pay of the Maclaren camp.
Obama? - frankly if I get a good night's sleep without having to trot down the stairs three or four times then I shall be happy to let even the Americans sort it out for themselves