Thou shalt not, or maybe thou shalt!

Looking at the ten commandments last week for some background information for housegroup I put "ten commandments" into Google. In this secular society it will come as no surprised to some, and a real shock to others that only 5 of the top 10 hits had any scriptural reference. Others included on-line dating "the Mafia's top ten commandments". Several referred to the "bloggers' ten commandments". Since by the very fact that you are reading this (I hope someone is reading this) you have an interest in blogging so I list them below for your education and amazement.
1You shall not put your blog before your integrity
2 You shall not make an idol of your blog
3You shall not misuse your screen name by using your anonymity to sin (very appropriate this one in the week when a woman is seeking a divorce because she found her husband was having an affair in cyberspace)
4 Remember the Sabbath Day by taking one do off a week from your blog
5 Honour your fellow bloggers above yourselves and do not give undue significance to their mistakes
6 You shall not murder someone else's honour, reputation or feelings
7 You shall not use the web to commit or permit adultery in your mind (see above)
8 You shall not steal another person's content
9 You shall not give false testimony against your fellow blogger
10 YOu shall not covety your neighbour's blog ranking.
Be content with your content
For the real thing try Exodus 20 or Deuternomy 5
Actually, cyberspace is the one place I have not been this week as the internet has been down at work since Monday. I can access remotely but that means being somewhere else when I should be in the office and that somewhere else having internet access. Although, that said, it is a good measure of just how reliant we are on the net. My usual daily e-log is 50+, the majority being things bounced back and forwards between colleagues. Accessing remotely kept it down to around 12 as I had to do old fashioned things like picking up the phone or even going to see someone.
The cost of living continues to rise with Bodybuilder on water getting a fine for parking in a bus lane and Jetski Boy shopping for his first car. Peter Jay (BBC Economics Editor) says that the way out of the credit crunch is for everyone to start spending again and that everyone should be given £400 on condition that they spend it immediately. Covering the cost of running a house, subsidising a flat and keeping three cars on the road - I am doing my best!
This is not necessarily all I wanted to say but Mrs Claus is anxious to read the next instalment so I will save and post now

Hamilton vs Obama???

A morning spent rolling around semi naked on a couch covered in jelly might sound like someone's idea of fun (possibly my idea of fun) but not on a Tuesday morning with a bursting bladder. Have you ever tried drinking 4 pints of water and then sitting in a car for three quarters of an hour followed by another 20 minutes in the waiting room - yes the NHS still keep you waiting even if ever so politely? Having established that I really, desperately needed to see the doctor NOW I was ushered into the surgery whereupon he began a lengthy introduction about who he was, why I was there and what was going to happen. With everything crossed so tightly that I seriously began to wonder whether I would ever be untangled again I managed to convey that I was quite anxious to get on with the matter in hand rather than squirm in idle chit chat. Of course he and the nurse quite understood but first there was the slight matter of coating me in jelly and prodding me in exquisitley painful places with an ultrasound scanner until they realised they were in iminent danger of the surgery being flooded. I was then introduced to THE FUNNEL which frankly is every little boy's dream - something you can wee into as hard as you can for as long as you can. I scored 465 @ 16 which I was told was very good. To those who cannot go on living without knowing the answer that is 465ml of urine discharged at a rate of 16ml/second and there is a bonus point for the look of relief at the end of the proceedings. "Did I feel better?", "did I feel that I was fully emptied?" - well yes was the answer until he went poking around with his scanner again and putting quite a lot of pressure on places that are not used to having pressure put upon them. The truthful answer - I was far from empty but a lot more comfortable than I was, so off to the funnel again. This time not quite such a mad dash with trousers roughly hoisted around my waist, which is just as well since the "little room" was the other side of the waiting room. "Had I had my kidneys checked through the back passage?" well that was about to change but let me advise you not to put it high on your list of 100 things I want to do before I die.
The average bladder is capable of holding 2 litres plus so my 465 ml was little more than a drop in the ocean but the remainder made it's presence very plain as I drove back to work. There are NO public toilets between the surgery and the office (a journey of approximately one and a half hours) and only a limited number of farm gates that are not overlooked by curious passers by or the odd cow.
As for Lewis - WELL DONE sir although I suspect it is only a matter of time before Brazilian conspiracy theorists start suggesting that Bloch is in the pay of the Maclaren camp.
Obama? - frankly if I get a good night's sleep without having to trot down the stairs three or four times then I shall be happy to let even the Americans sort it out for themselves