Mrs Claus is in hospital. To be more accurate she was in hospital attending an outpatient clinic to look at the numbness in her hands. It is now official that she has bilateral carpal tunnel syndrome. "can you feel anything?" asked the consultant as he bent her wrtists back. "Well yes, it hurts" replied Mrs Claus - well of course it would but that seems to be the delight of the medical profession. I recall a physiotherapist with whom I once worked who assured all her patients that if it didn't hurt it wasn't doing them any good! It is apparently very interesting - there are two nerves that run under the heel of the wrist one of which serves the thumb, index and middle fingers and half the ring finger and a second just for the remainder of the ring finger and the little finger.
It is strange that Mrs Claus should get anything to do with tunnels as I know she hates tunnels, particularly those affected with tube trains but she has been known to get extremely anxious passing under road bridges. I once suggested that we use the Channel Tunnel to travel across to the Continent on Christmas Eve to give the reindeer a rest and that idea was vetoed very quickly.
I suppose it all comes from spending those long evenings plaiting reindeer thongs to make reins and harness. Mind you I have never found reindeer that sexy whether in a thong or not!
I was getting the sleigh out the other evening to pop into town for supplies when Mrs Prim and Proper came jogging by - head to foot in black lycra with fluorescent stripes down each arm and leg. I think the vision defies further comment.
Now that Mrs Claus is such a Facebook fan it gets more difficult to bring you real news in these bulletins as she has usually blabbed to the world the minute anything of interest has happened. However I will try to keep a few secrets to be revealed exclusively on these pages so that my loyal readers will still have something to celebrate (yes both of you). Snow on the mountains and a beautiful sunrise in California one of my readers assures me and slush underfoot in Lapland I can tell you. My faithful reader who fell on the ice is now much recovered but has since lost a tooth and was today preparing for an 80th (not her own) birthday party. No 900 bottles of wine there I suspect although it might have made the tooth problem less painful. Get better soon CM
If CC is still reading then I know you saw two brown hares today - honestly I thought PC had more than that and if you come round here you will see considerably more than two grey hairs.
You can tell that there is little news in the world of Santa at the moment but it is still the quiet season.
Happy Burns night to those of you who take an interest in such things
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